New Year. New Things.

It has been a dark, rainy day and I am sitting on my back porch stretched out with laptop and a cozy flannel. The rain occasionally splashes on my toes and I am wishing someone would show up with a warm cup of dark roast.

Daniel is in the garage building some additional storage-very productive on his day off. And I am sitting here proud of myself for turning New Year's leftover breakfast biscuits into tonight's Chicken Pot Pie.

We have spent quality time with family over the past two weeks of holidays- the very reason we moved back to Mississippi and our hearts are full. Maggie hit the 11-month old mark today and I still cannot believe she is ours- forever. The holidays were filled with laughs as she explored Christmas trees, dancing Santas and unwrapping packages for the first time. Only twice did she almost die on my watch. Once with a penny in her mouth and the second with a lego in her mouth.  {I once dated a guy who often said "almost doesn't count"-and for that I am very thankful.}

Here we are in 2017 and I am wondering what the year ahead holds for us. Most people are making new year plans with a new diet, new school, new jobs; and I would be lying if I didn't admit to purchasing some new colon cleanse on Amazon today (see, my sister-in-law made these amazing chocolate covered coconut balls and I ate 456,870,234 of them. No less.)

For me, 2016 was undoubtedly a paradox. Celebrating the birth of my daughter and mourning the loss of my dearest friend. A year that was filled withindescribable joy and incredible sadness. A year, surprisingly easy with a calm baby that was made difficult by the cloud of sorrow over my head. I have walked in postpartum depression and anxiety being smothered by grief. I have seen the brightest sunshine in my daughter's blue eyes and the darkest night in my own. 

My 2016 was filled with so much "new" - new baby, new postnatal back pain, left my job, moved back down south, husband's new job, rental house, new house, new friends, new church, new everything. So in 2017, I am not hoping for new. Nope. I am just hoping for beauty. I am hoping for quality. I am planning for purpose. I am planning for improvement. I am planning for the best version. Regardless of my plans, God has charted my territory. His purpose in last year's paradox is simple- He is always calling to Him. Always. In the light and in the dark. In the joy and the sorrow. His ways are always higher than ours. He is the giver of good things. I know that. 

I hope your 2017 is off to a good start. Now... I am going to brew that coffee...