I used to hate reading on Godly feminity and masculinity. I thought it too narrow-minded, too simplistic for all of us to fall under these labels. No one lives the same life, we all have different paths. Don't get me wrong, I had grown up reading Proverbs 31 and I believed in the beauty of a woman and her gifts and likewise for a Godly man. I now realize it was because I had not experienced the beauty of healthy pursuit and I was defiant. Boy was I defiant, having freely placed my heart in the palm of an unsafe relationship despite the warnings I had read and heard. I was not a victim. I chose to do that. Over and over again. I didn't want to believe that feelings of "safety and stability" came from a relationship with a man. I thought that was between me and my God. I wasn't in a season of waiting because I wasn't "waiting for my life to begin" like the world told me. I was living my life! I actually felt sorry for the women who didn't get to explore their own dreams and choose their own goals. After all, most women and men only complain about marriage. I didn't really hear of many "life-giving" marriages. I didn't want to succomb to what everyone thought my life should look like.
At the nudge of friends, I read Wild at Heart and Captivating over the spread of my single-girl decade of my 20's. The words lept off the pages into my defeated heart, and it eventually took a painful purging and submission to acknowledge those books were right. Very right.
Now here on the other side of the story. Receiving text messages from single girls in the middle of the night who are aching, longing and disillusioned. Married to a strong, stable man who fears and loves the Lord. A man who prizes me. For me.
You see, he (Daniel) knows his purpose in the Lord and his purpose in this world. He is confident in his gifts and talents. I don't have to help him find them. Nor, do I have to help him fight his battle, I don't have to find his adventure. Because of this, I am free to be his beauty. I am free to be his companion in his battle and adventures. His masculinity does arouse feminity and vice versa. I truly believe it. I watch Daniel in his work, his serving others, his goals, his confident strength and it makes me feel beautiful, safe and free.
I see it so clearly now. I am thankful for the pain, for it was there, that I was learning to appreciate what the Lord would eventually provide. If you are waiting, keeps your eyes open, surround yourself with wisdom and keep walking straight until you can recognize that "he" is committed to pursuing you and demonstrating desire for you to be in his life. Until then, keep straight ahead with your Lord.
