What pregnancy has taught me.

It is 2:25 AM and I have eaten a bowl of cheerios (w/sliced banana)- just bragging because it is not sugary Fruity Pebbles this time. Sleeping has been the pits and this little nugget growing in my belly has a ferocious hunger in the middle of the night, every night. I am 3 weeks away from becoming a mother. Mother. WHOA. I said it. I never had this gut-wrenching longing to be a mom like many women describe. I did not play with baby dolls when I was a little girl and I do not yearn to hold people's babies.  I do not think this makes me any less of a woman, I have just never been ooey-gooey over babies. (But mine will be be most beautiful baby on the planet so you people better get ready!) In my mind, motherhood would come when the time was right- when my husband joined me in desiring to create a "family." So a few years ago, Daniel and I felt the time was right (that combined with my age) and here we are.
The physical part of pregnancy- the weight gain, the swelling and all the other not-so-glamorous things that come with carrying a child made me very,very afraid. My body image and my weight have always held so much power over my life- when I have been thin and overweight alike. In 5th grade, I was taller than everyone and as soon as puberty hit, I had a curvy woman's figure that didn't blend in with all the petite girls on my cheerleading squad. That alone taught me body-shaming. So the thought of discussing my weight every month with a doctor for 9 months did NOT sound like a fun occasion to which I wanted to be subject. But something amazing happened to me during this pregnancy without knowing it...

I GAVE MYSELF PERMISSION TO LOVE MY BODY. 
(Because it was no longer about me.)

A dear friend, who is also a licensed counselor, once told me "no one cares about your weight as much as you do, because they are too busy with their own insecurities." I see body-shaming in almost every woman I know. I can name very few women in my life who have a healthy relationship with their body and food. I am no different. But a few months into this pregnancy, I realized I was loving my growing belly and loving my glowing complexion. It made me proud. And to my surprise, my pregnancy has been a healthy one. I have only gained 6 lbs from my starting weight (now before you panic, it's because I lost 7 lbs during my first trimester because of food aversions). My blood pressure, glucose levels and every other test that 36-year-old pregnant women have to undergo, have all been within a healthy range. 

Now that I am packing my hospital bag and prepping for life after delivery, I think about my post-pregnancy body and how I will treat it. I am prepping to focus on health, physically and emotionally, so that I never lose this loving feeling. Life is too short and my family will need me to be the best me and that doesn't mean skinny- it means balance and loving myself. 

So today ladies, I challenge you to work toward loving and accepting your body. Give yourself permission to do so- you just might be surprised what health comes from it.

*Pregnancy has also taught me how to tie my shoelaces really, really quickly- but I will save that for another post.