The Big Ones

Boundary. Ah, a word we learn to use as an adult. A word that my heavy heart grew to understand while listening to a poignant sermon at Pinelake or while spilling my guts with a counselor in my mid-20s. I don't know about you, but boundary is a life-giving word. Who knew?
It is a word that actually brings freedom in my life- a freedom that gives room for clarity and courage.  I have been chewing on the word boundary as it relates to my time and on whom I choose to spend my time. Now, before you start thinking that sounds audacious, I want all of us to agree that yes, we give our time freely and without regard to many people who do not and should not replace time with those who are most important to us.

I will never forget something that Daniel said to me one Saturday as we were driving "up" to ski. We were crossing over Wilkerson Pass. It beholds a view that is like a postcard you might find with the word Colorado stretched across; it is a must-stop photo opportunity. You can see snowcapped Rocky Mountains for miles mixed with views of cattle enjoying their natural habitat. It is truly one of my favorite views and I see something new each time we pass it. This particular Saturday, we were deep in the process of homebuying. During our drive, I realized our mortgage company had sent us an email about credit ratings and approved financing options from which we needed to choose. I had my nose buried deep in my phone reading this email aloud to him. Daniel interrupted me when I was about mid-way through. He said to me " Babe, look at all the big things you are missing while you are worried about those small things. You are missing your favorite part."  I looked at him with admiration and said "you are exactly right." I think he shocked himself with his burst of wisdom, haha! For the rest of the drive, we discussed how that is true in so many areas of our lives. How many times do I have my nose buried in my phone (even for reading necesssary things) and forget to SEE the big things around me?

Living 1200 miles from the place I will always call "home" has revealed many life-giving things to me. (And no, this is not the first blog about it.)  I am the first to say that I am thankful for text messaging and social media. It helps me stay connected, but does NOT replace connecting in a face-to-face conversation. Isn't it simple to care about people from afar? To launch a campaign for thousands to see on social media about raising money or collecting food for a family? But when the dust settles and the to-do list is checked off, what is to be said about the way we cherished time with the most important people around us? The people in your "immediate circle"?

I was living in an incredibly selfish season of my life when I lost both my grandfather and grandmother. I regret choosing to spend my time with other people over them in my college years and my 20s. If I had known the sorrow I would feel while grieving their death and living with their absence would cause my heart, I would have changed a few things about how I spent my time in their last days.

I want to forget about all the others (and what there elf on the shelf is doing, of what there child wore to school for her birthday party), yet I scroll through these posts reading and filling my time, energy and heart with other's lives. I notice that I forget to look up and see things around me and ignore those moments that could be memories. I want to have conversations, true conversations with my nephews and nieces and know what THEIR lives and personalities are made of. I want to know what my husband's FAVORITE THINGS are! I want to know about my mom's day (she lives alone and probably doesn't that question very often). I want to engage, WHOLEHEARTEDLY ENGAGE with those who are around me. I want to spend time enjoying adventures.

I don't want to miss the big things while giving my attention to the insignificant small ones.