Daring Greatly. Author Brene Brown.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. 

Put the needle on the record

This record console has turned into one of our favorite things.Old records playing while cooking dinner, maybe an occasional spurt of slow-dancing. My grandfather's records are being put to good  use. He would be very proud! All in all, it was a wonderful $60 spent!

Stay. Be Present.

It has been a while since I have offered any musings on this blog; and there is a reason for that. I have been quiet lately, pondering "being present". Posting less; taking pictures of "myself." I want to be present- present in my current life, present with my friends, present with my husband, present in my goings and comings. I don't want to miss the living that is happening around me because I was too busy trying to convince people that I live a great life.  I want to respect intimacy by keeping the sweet moments for myself. I want to respect quality friendships. I want, more than anything else, to remain in a place of authenticity.

"You know it's funny what's happened to us; our lives have become digital, our friends virtual. Anything you could ever want to know is just a click away. Experiencing the world through endless secondhand information isn't enough. If we want authenticity, we have to initiate it." 

                                                                                                            -from the movie Art of Flight

DIY Beauty Secrets

I am not the expert on cosmetics or esthetic services, but I have dabbled in my fair share of eye shadow palettes and for goodness sakes, worn a swimsuit in heels on a televised preliminary to the Miss America pageant. I love makeup, I am not going to lie. I will not flinch when I whip out my debit for $60 on two new eye colors. I think it's woman's best accessory. (Unless you have an ugly heart, and then, well, the only help for you is Jesus, not the MAC counter).The problem is that women get overwhelmed by the rules of "beauty" and makeup and give up on it all together. We all know a disenfranchised woman who forgot how to take care of her own skin and beauty somewhere along her journey of being a wife and mom or focusing on her career. 
When I found out we were moving to Colorado, I felt this pressure the ditch the blush, purchase Teva sandals and secure a hippy headband for going out. I wish, oh how I wish, I could look "J Crew" with hair tosseled up in a hot-mess on top of my head, wearing head-to-toe khaki, but I am not "J Crew" never have been and never will be. (I think I said those exact words to an ex-boyfriend once). I am a designer-jean-with-wedge-sandal, blousy-top, hoop-earring-wearing, never leaves home without lipgloss kind of lady. 
I have had several people ask me if I would teach them how to do smokey eye-makeup or how to walk in heels, both of which, I think are rights of passage as a female, ha! I often say to women: ask any man you know,what type of shoe is most attractive!?!. And if you hear a man who complains about women wearing makeup or being "dressed up" it's probably a reflection of their own insecurity. No woman has ever been faulted for their beauty, especially by a man. 
So I want to share some important tips; just in case you don't know them: 
1) The big 3: eyebrows, eyelashes and lips.
Often the eyebrow is overlooked. Filling them in with a powder or pencil frames your eyes and is VERY IMPORTANT. I have thin hair and thin, sparse eyebrows, so this is a necessity for me, even when I am going ala-naturale. Go to a makeup counter (I prefer MAC or Sephora) and ask them to show you their favorite powder or pencil. You will love how this, when done correctly, makes your eyes look. Another rule: you shall not have bold eyes and bold lips at same time. We call this a "clown." If you do dark eye, go with nude-glossy lip; bold lips choose a light eye color. 
2) Apply blush according to shape of your face and the shape of your face when you smile. Get help with this.
3) Remove hair from your face. Often.Whichever method you choose: dermaplane at local spa, waxing, shaving, electrolysis... You will be amazed how good it looks and how your makeup stays on longer when the extra layer of fine hair is removed. Your face will look slimmer in photos as well, because the flash catches that layer of fine hair in the photo. 
4) Keep nail polish remover handy. Especially if you are a professional. Nothing worse than a three-week-old burgundy nail polish on half of your nails. 
5) Don't blow dry your hair in the same room you took your shower where it is hot and steamy. And try to angle your hairdryer above your head, blowing down. This is one reason our hair looks so smooth when we leave the salon, because they are styling our hair from above us, making fly-aways lie flat.
6) Use a black sharpie on your scuffed shoes, or your husband's shoes. (or brown for brown shoes).
7) Find the right bra. Round and perky = younger appearance. Self-explanatory.
8) Floss and Whiten. Your gums should be pink, not red. Pink gums are interpreted as healthy even to the untrained eye. Many times people ask me about tooth whitening because I used to be a hygienist. The goal is your tooth color match the whites of your eyes. That is typically what is considered appealing.
9) Witch Hazel is cheap astringent for your skin and used to be the only astringent for the older generation.
10) Be careful with powders around your eyes. If you are like me, you have wrinkles and laugh lines and powder makes them more noticeable.  

Such quibbling over semantics may seem petty stuff

Since I am a sociology and communication nerd, I am always intrigued how someone's choice of words and tone are misunderstood, misapplied and overtime create unintended opinions and sever open channels of communication. I love to see trends that originate from television shows like Saturday Night Live and Sex and the City that spread across generations. Often times, we do not know the origin or implications of the phrases we are using. 
There are a few words from pop culture that have been exhausted in modern rhetoric. This is my platform to talk about it. I am just as guilty as anyone. Can we all agree that we will find ways to use these words less in the upcoming days? Can we? (is anybody out there?)(does anybody care?)
Let's start with "Hubby." Your husband has a name. And frankly, hubby, sounds more emasculating than putting him in your dress. Next time you want to be cute and call him "hubby" to your girlfriends or on facebook, pause for a moment and think about using another term of endearment- like his name or just the old fashioned "Husband"; it will never go out of style. And I bet, he might prefer a new nickname too!
The second one is "Epic". I know the younger generation has discovered this new adjective to describe your heroes in the Twilight Saga and The Hunger Games; but this isn't a new word, it's been used for a long, long time. This word shall not be overused to describe things that are, in fact, not epic.
Another is "Fail." As a stand-alone word used in a derogatory context or in combination with "epic." From talking about rednecks to the government, I admit, the posters that circulated through email forwards were funny, but now it's just gotten outta hand!  It was funny the first time. 
One that I am extremely guilty of is "Really?" using the same tone of voice as in SNL skit "Really? With Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler." Recently someone used "Really!?" toward me, I didn't like the way it made me feel-very defensive about what I had just said, and that my words were not valid. This tone implies shame to the listener and more than likely creates some insecurity in that relationship. So I should probably stop saying "Really!?!" in a sarcastic context. 
And last but not least, let's agree to stop using this phrase "I'm not a ______ person" to label our self with our preferences or our dislike for something. My theory is that it feels more comfortable or less-invasive using this phrase rather than sounding as if you are complaining by saying "I don't like ____." For example: "I'm not a cheese person" or "I'm not a jeans person" or "I'm not a beach person" or "I'm not a television person" or "I'm not a seafood person" or "I'm not a  fill-in-the-blank person". I think these labels of give others permission to place labels on us. So let's stop and go back to the original means of expressing our likes and dislikes.

I hope you have found an ounce of humor in this bit of communication theory. Heather's theory.

Mother may I?

It's the cliche answer to the common question...who is your role model? Most everyone I know would say "my momma." I think it takes about 18 years of life before a young person really begins to give credit where credit is due. Now I am 32 and I find myself cherishing memories that my mom gave me, beyond incredibly difficult circumstances. The more I know about my personality, love languages and work ethic, the more I realize that we really are just one big grown up version of our childhood.

My mom grew up with polio and all the physical challenges it brought her. She lost her husband at the age of 34 years old. Mother of three. That's only two years older than me. While I do not remember his passing, I do remember the "pink elephant in the room" that was the underlying story of the emotions in our home. But, I had a healthier home with one parent than many have with the presence of two parents. My momma, strong as nails, never, not once, let anyone feel sorry for us. She put her emotions aside on our behalf. She is a picture of dignity and pride. She is a picture of great fortitude. And she NEVER EVER COMPLAINS.

She taught me to hold my shoulders up because everyone looks skinnier when they stand up straight and suck in. By watching her, I learned to smile and greet people, even if they were a stranger. She taught me how to cook without using a recipe (a trait that has paid off!) I still hear my mom saying "if you will just take 2 minutes and make up your bed, it will make your room look clean, and you'll be glad to come home to a made bed." She also never leaves the house without makeup and hates it when I do, ha! She never made an excuse for laziness. She made us fight our own battles and didn't try to fight them for us. Most of all, she had expectations for us. We knew we were expected to "do right" and make wise choices. Always. She raised three kids, who are independent and successful, all by herself. I think that's a modern day hero. Don't you?

April showers brought May flowers. 2011. True Story...

I said to Daniel last week, "Do you remember where we were this time last year?" Final arrangements for our May 20th wedding were being made; spending quality time with folks that I wanted to share this special time; organizing how my 'stuff' including my car would be transported to West Virginia after the wedding. We had already concluded our April bridal showers and going-away parties and had moved on to daydreaming about going to Negril after our wedding. We were getting ready for a new adventure to say the least.

 Referring to your life as "chapters" or "seasons" is not uncommon rhetoric, but for me, it was applicable in every single area of my life. In February of 2011,Daniel proposed with a big-blingin'-diamond and we planned for an engagement that was only about 10 weeks long. I rented out my Northeast Jackson townhome and turned the keys over to a renter(little did I know she didn't like to pay rent, but I'll spare you that story). Walking away from that townhouse where so many memories were made; memories of fun and memories of struggles that came with the single 20's. The living room where I stayed up into the wee hours of the morning finishing papers for Graduate School; the deck in back where many conversations with friends took place; the front yard where a tornado traveled and required me to earn a green thumb. The only thing missing, when I locked the door for the last time, was a classic U2 song to properly soundtrack the moment. I drove away from a job that I dearly loved aside from its travel demands; I developed many life-changing skills and relationships; where I developed a deep passion for young people making wise choices about their future. Most importantly, I drove away from a chapter of my life where I found an understanding of the society around me and the differences among it's people. I wept harder than I think I ever have as I drove away. I knew what I had invested my heart and soul in, was now just a piece of my story. I left a church, Pinelake, that stood as a rock for me; shifting my focus when my world felt like it was crumbling at times. A body of people who urged me to press in deeper with my understanding and passion for the Lord's call on my life.

 All of those changes make me reflect back on such a sweet, sweet season. The act of merging my life with Daniel's felt so natural and so true. I don't ever want to forget it, how I felt the newness I believed the Lord provides us when we ask. I was surrounded by unwavering love of the people whom I hold very dear to my heart. You see, for many many years, I was the one planning the showers and throwing parties for my friends in their season of weddings and babies. To be on this side as a recipient was surreal moment. We are approaching our first anniversary and it has been a year of excitement and renewal. People talk so poorly about the first year of marriage, and to you, I would like to say, you were wrong. Way wrong. It has been everything I hoped it would be and more. And while those tears I shed about leaving such familiarity behind were necessary, I am so incredibly confident that Daniel and I are in the right place, together. I can't believe, we are approaching our first wedding anniversary. I have blogged many times this year about the changes and my gratefulness for my husband, and you might be totally annoyed by it. But what better part of life to celebrate, right?

Southern charm. Allow me to indulge for a bit...

I'll be the first to admit, I can't tolerate a redneck or those Southern Belle t-shirts. And sure enough, I have heard "where are you from, you have an accent" or "oh well that must be a southern thing" more times than I care to hear.
But every once in a while, I meet someone here in Colorado, who has experienced the "southern" where I come from and they understand what is to be desired. Blame it on Southern hospitality, but I think, perhaps, it is something more. A different quality or definition of kindness and community. A place where beef stew is still brought to the house of a sick friend. A place where favors are given freely because reciprocity is a way of life. And even though I am surrounded by kindness, by yoga, by beautiful landscapes beyond measure, I am homesick. I am not talking fried chicken or Pawluh Deeeeen. (Well, maybe I do miss crowder peas and can't find them in any supermarket anywhere). I am talking about family, enthusiasm, culture, and for-goodness-sakes, a full-bloom azalea bush in all her springtime glory. I have been away from Jackson for almost a year now. At first, it was like I was on a vacation with my new husband playing house. Now, we are settled into a place we plan to stay for a bit; I am working, he is working, we have set up our home and just now, with our warm weather, I am feeling the distance. 1200 miles to be exact. Not driving distance.
I am missing the familiarity of Jackson with places like Keifers, Julep and the patio at La Cazuela where I would meet up with my girls after work. The familiarity of going to anywhere and knowing at least one person there. The welcome culture of getting-together for food and laughter. Or just sitting in the front yard of Tracy's gorgeous Belhaven neighborhood while her girls climb on me. Maybe it's my momma's couch or my sister's big 'ole back porch on a warm Saturday with waterballoon fights with the neighbors. Or the creativity and passion of my artsy friends who choose to live life to its fullest. Or the fact that I can stomp my foot and raise my voice a few octaves so Courtney Yancey knows exactly my level of excitement! I suppose it's the 3 decades in the same place that gave me an appreciation of a life filled with rich relationships and meaningful circles of influence.
We love the weather of Colorado with her beautiful blue skies and constant breeze. We deeply appreciate being in one of the most beautiful parts of this country and experiencing the recreation it has to offer. I love sharing a home with a magnificent man who, at the risk of sounding cliche, is my soulmate and best friend. We wouldn't change it for the world.
While we are preparing to host an Easter lunch in our home on Sunday for some new friends (25-30 people to be exact), we are missing celebrating this holiday with my family and friends. It's time for new memories. And at the very least, I hope they feel the southern charm of deviled eggs and a warm home where they are always welcome.

2012 hear me roar!

I like to launch campaign titles for years... For example:
Living great in 2008;
Getting Fine in 2009 (got in shape);
Staying Thin in 2010;
Plannin' a Weddin' in 2011 (ok, it was a stretch)


Unfortunately, nothing really rhymes with twelve except shelve, elves... so until the lightbulb goes off in my brain, I have nothing catchy.

However, I do have a few goals. I am blogging them as to announce them and make them official. They are not resolutions. They are goals.

1) Learn to ski. As of right now, I do not enjoy it. My goal is to get there without cursing, throwing my poles at my husband. I just want to enjoy it as much as Daniel.
2) Run the Denver Rock and Roll Marathon (Half) in 2:15 or less. I have done two other half-marthons without really training. This time I am all in!
3) Get back in my favorite jeans, they were too expensive to hang in my closet
4) Take my heart health more seriously. I am not getting any younger- my genetics are not good- and I love cheese. I hate taking pills. Goal is to be diligent every day with my supplements!
5) Write more. In my journal and notes to those I love.
6) Take a sewing class. I just want to stitch the basics like drapes and bedding.

November tha what?!?

Hard to believe that today marks one month that Daniel started his new job at Memorial Hospital. I have bought lots of curtains since then. Mom is coming to visit on Saturday and then Leah is arriving on Thursday, they will both leave on the 20th (which also happens to be Daniel's birthday). I assume we will do some shopping, maybe a movie, make holiday wreaths, who knows....
We have gotten out and done lots of things, one if which even the locals are afraid of.. The Manitou Springs Incline (look it up)- One mile up. 2800 railroad ties. 2500 feet of vertical, some points with a 68% grade incline. And a four mile hike back down the Barr trail. So many athletes were out there running up, even saw one guy with 75 lbs in additional weight on his back and ankles. Needless to say, we were glad to get to the top with our "sea level lungs." But I might have inhaled all the oxygen available that day, but we plan to hit it up again when Leah is here!

We sold Daniel's Explorer in West Virginia before the move and have been sharing my Honda for over a month. It was nice while it lasted. Daniel, after much deliberation, purchased an 09 Tahoe, Black with all the bells and whistles. It is really nice and he loves it! He drove his Explorer since his senior year of high school, so he plans to do the same with this one! Here is a photo (it is missing the roof rack, ski rack and bike rack, haha, those are on the way of course)

My job application process is tedious and, to be quite honest, I have never had to deal with resume rejection like I am now. I have gotten several "thanks but no thanks" emails, and quite frankly, this is new for me. I have always known someone with pull and here I am with none of that. A transplant. An outsider. I have my eye on a few jobs with non-profits in the area, one at American Cancer Society and another in the corporate YMCA office as Director of Marketing and Community Outreach. I am being patient, but would really like a reason to wear a power-suit and 3inch heels again ya know?!? But regardless, the online job search and application process is exhausting enough to cross your eyes permanently.

I have made a friend here that just moved from Jackson, MS and we know lots of the same folks back home. Such a small world. We are loving New Life Church (you might own some of their worship tunes) and we have made a few friends which we invited over for the LSU/BAMA game last week. I served them red, beans and rice with cornbread since they were getting a "taste" of the SEC! New Life Church is a huge church with unending resources and dynamic leadership, we are really glad to get connected! And the church has the most published worship music in the US, only second to Hillsong in Australia. You know I am loving that aspect!

As for the weather... OH MY GOODNESS... contrary to popular belief we DO NOT live in a snowy tundra. Yes it snows but the weather here is perfect so far! Our neighbor jokingly told us, it is possible to experience all 4 seasons in one day here. But seriously, even when it snows, the sun has come out right after and it is breathtaking!

Our house is still a work in progress. I promise I will post more photos when the time is right! I am loving sharing this with Daniel and making a home together. He is wonderful, as is marriage. We are having so much fun!

I miss my family and friends something serious. I am thankful for skype, but do not frequent it enough. To my dearest friends, give a sista a call sometime!