What I have to say.

As I am getting older, maybe maturity has taught me that what I have to say is not the most important. Maybe what I believe, and how I live a life of authenticity  reveal what I believe is most important. Living away from the south, the land of very dramatic women and glittery pretense (i can say this because I am one of them), I have become keenly aware of my intentions. I want my marriage to remain personal and intimate, I want those special moments to be special because it's between me and my husband or my friends, not because I need the whole world to form an opinion of approval about my life. 
My personality (ENFP) is one that has to stay in check. I have the ability to be way to chatty, disclose too much information and give my unsolicited opinion.  And greater than any of that, I am an entertainer. I love to make people laugh and feel good, whether it is in simple conversation or at the dinner table in my home. That entertainer part has to stay in check too! Thank goodness the God of this universe saw fit to give me life experiences that created a strong intuitive part of my personality. That intuition helps me be extremely aware of others in social situations, and brings to light how I make someone feel. One of the most valuable things I learned in all of my communications study is that we are not responsible for what we say, we are responsible for what is heard. This is the opposite of what the world tells us. 
Social media has really been driving me crazy lately. False portrayals of happiness and fullness. Everyone seeking approval. Posts of personal prayers to God (who, by the way, doesn't check His facebook). Platforms for those whose world-view has never extended past the county line. Those who are using their faith for spewing hatred and ignorance. All of these things have me a bit disenfranchised. So I suppose the question I pose is what "place" are we posting from? And what if no one "likes" it? Will your identity suffer? "Is there something about me, that if other people knew it or saw it, it would make me unworthy of connection?" 

“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I'm trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”  -Brene Brown


PS-I am totally enthralled right now with Brene Brown, a qualitative researcher in social work from The University of Houston. She has dared go where many people will not go. The study of shame and vulnerability. I love what her research tells us about people. But more than that, I love the stories of the people around me. Brene's work offers us a tactical way to identify the modes of operation that we allow to bury us.