Secrets of Adulthood...make a list!

My list of "secrets of adulthood." These include all those times my mom said "you will thank me for this one day"...

• Over the counter medicine works. Take it.
• Sleep matters 
• Take a jacket
• People don't notice your mistakes as much as you think 
• People aren't paying attention to your physical appearance nearly as much as you
• The way you make someone feel is how you will be remembered. Be thoughtful.
• Intentional movement (exercise) should always the first line of defense
• By doing a little each day, you can get a lot accomplished
• Don't put off to tomorrow what you can do today
• Allow a man the room to be a man and he will
• You can control who gets your time and energy
• You can control who gets your money
• Changing your scenery or daily routine can be energizing
• Open mail immediately and discard junk mail 
• Making your bed will instantly make your room look clean
• If you can't find something, clean up
• What you think is funny may not be funny to other people- and vice versa
• Soap and water removes most stains
• Do what ought to be done
• Love requires wholeness
• It is okay to ask for help

This idea came from "The Pursuit of Happiness" by Gretchen Rubin. Now, you should take the time to make your list! 

What I have to say.

As I am getting older, maybe maturity has taught me that what I have to say is not the most important. Maybe what I believe, and how I live a life of authenticity  reveal what I believe is most important. Living away from the south, the land of very dramatic women and glittery pretense (i can say this because I am one of them), I have become keenly aware of my intentions. I want my marriage to remain personal and intimate, I want those special moments to be special because it's between me and my husband or my friends, not because I need the whole world to form an opinion of approval about my life. 
My personality (ENFP) is one that has to stay in check. I have the ability to be way to chatty, disclose too much information and give my unsolicited opinion.  And greater than any of that, I am an entertainer. I love to make people laugh and feel good, whether it is in simple conversation or at the dinner table in my home. That entertainer part has to stay in check too! Thank goodness the God of this universe saw fit to give me life experiences that created a strong intuitive part of my personality. That intuition helps me be extremely aware of others in social situations, and brings to light how I make someone feel. One of the most valuable things I learned in all of my communications study is that we are not responsible for what we say, we are responsible for what is heard. This is the opposite of what the world tells us. 
Social media has really been driving me crazy lately. False portrayals of happiness and fullness. Everyone seeking approval. Posts of personal prayers to God (who, by the way, doesn't check His facebook). Platforms for those whose world-view has never extended past the county line. Those who are using their faith for spewing hatred and ignorance. All of these things have me a bit disenfranchised. So I suppose the question I pose is what "place" are we posting from? And what if no one "likes" it? Will your identity suffer? "Is there something about me, that if other people knew it or saw it, it would make me unworthy of connection?" 

“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I'm trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”  -Brene Brown


PS-I am totally enthralled right now with Brene Brown, a qualitative researcher in social work from The University of Houston. She has dared go where many people will not go. The study of shame and vulnerability. I love what her research tells us about people. But more than that, I love the stories of the people around me. Brene's work offers us a tactical way to identify the modes of operation that we allow to bury us. 

Daring Greatly. Author Brene Brown.

Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage.Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness. 

Put the needle on the record

This record console has turned into one of our favorite things.Old records playing while cooking dinner, maybe an occasional spurt of slow-dancing. My grandfather's records are being put to good  use. He would be very proud! All in all, it was a wonderful $60 spent!

Stay. Be Present.

It has been a while since I have offered any musings on this blog; and there is a reason for that. I have been quiet lately, pondering "being present". Posting less; taking pictures of "myself." I want to be present- present in my current life, present with my friends, present with my husband, present in my goings and comings. I don't want to miss the living that is happening around me because I was too busy trying to convince people that I live a great life.  I want to respect intimacy by keeping the sweet moments for myself. I want to respect quality friendships. I want, more than anything else, to remain in a place of authenticity.

"You know it's funny what's happened to us; our lives have become digital, our friends virtual. Anything you could ever want to know is just a click away. Experiencing the world through endless secondhand information isn't enough. If we want authenticity, we have to initiate it." 

                                                                                                            -from the movie Art of Flight